Thursday, September 27, 2007

Getting back to what is IMPORTANT


That is what is important. If I don't take care of myself, then I will not be able to handle everything else. Sooooo today I am going to focus on taking care of myself.

I went to the gym. Ran for a little while...intervals....not too long but I will build on it. Then abs...

Work has been pretty crazy and so has home so I need to make sure that I am taking care of numero uno:)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

5-0 thats right 50, and I dont mean the artist

50 miles

That's right folks....biked 50 miles today. I know some of you its like a walk in the park but i never biked this far.....IT WAS GREAT....

Started out a 6am with some friends(4 to be exact). It was dark and chilly (50) but clear and the wind didn't seem that bad. I have to say that biking into the sunrise is amazing. I don't have too much technical data on this one cause i didn't think i was going to make it last night. But the biking gods shined down and i woke up on time...hehehe

The first 35 was great....felt great and then i hit the wall. The last 10 or 15 was tough. Painful and tough. I was alone cause we all spread out. I was not fast enough for the 2 fast guys and i wasn't slow enough for the 2 in the back. I was pretty happy cause i just kept telling myself that I can do this. Just keep putting the hammers down and i made it.

It took about 4 hours(including some rest stops).

And just one shout out:

GO TEA GO.....

and now its time to watch some FOOTBALLLLLLLLLL

Friday, September 14, 2007

And now for the quickest reversal of all time

So I posted yesterday before we went out for drinks and some dinner. We get to the restaurant and we started talking. I have to say the last few days have been weird. She has been trying to be the loving old Tina but I still feel like part of her still wants to be something else. I am sitting at a bar in this restaurant and the answer comes....its over. Not in the sense of hatred and nastiness that usually comes with breakups but the love one has for another person to let them go and explore the world in the way that they need to. I will not hold her back and she will not hold me back.

thats all....i am a little scared cause i dont know what is next but i will do what i do in triathlon when the going gets rough....just put 1 foot in front of the other......and it will get better....

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Just a quick update

Thanks to everyone for the words of encouragement. Tina and I have decided to try and work things out. I am not sure what the future holds but for today we are trying and that is all I have ever asked for. We will seek out a therapist to assist us in sorting through our issues. Today I spoke to a woman who was married for 54 years and she told me about some of the trials and tribulations that she faced. Similar issues and they made it...hopefully we can make it too. If it winds up not working out, I will be able to say that I exhausted all options.

Food has been pretty bad.

I am going to make an appt with an orthopedist to get some advice on my shoulder.....been rehabbing for a while now and still its not feeling better.....


Sunday, September 9, 2007


Congrats to DUANE!!!!! He came back to revisit the site of his first tri and kicked some major butt!!! I am looking forward to racing with you in 2009.

I also have been tracking Iron Wil in her 2nd attempt at IM Wisconsin. The big Kahuna and Iron Wil are the 2 tri-geeks that got me to jump in the pool. She is an inspiration. She is also the first person that I emailed and revealed my tri-dreams...and she emailed me back and no she did not laugh but instead she encouraged me. Today, I have been tracking her blog and so far she looks great....sounds like she will hear the famous words:


I hope to hear these words one day......

I also want to thank everyone for their support and kind words (especially Tea and Duane) in this really difficult time in my life. It has been tough and not everyone at home understands but its always nice to have some friends that unconditionally love me and keep me afloat.....


Saturday, September 8, 2007


It is an important date in my world...Kind of the day my world just fell to pieces. Its been a really bad week...and its culminated with Tina and I agreeing to separate. God I feel like shit...
We are both not happy but she is done with us. I am not going to sit around passively and be this door mat to just wipe your feet on. I also realized something very important. I have spent a lot of time in the last few years trying to keep other people happy but i never seem to take care of myself. Well GUESS WHAT......

This is going to be my time.....

I will ride the wave and see what happens.....I know that emotionally and financially this is going to be really tough on me. And i am going to get back on track.....


Wednesday, September 5, 2007

The value of the written word

I really believe in writing down my thoughts each day. Instead of letting all the crap in your head build up and reek havoc, I like to take a few minutes to write down what is on my mind. I did this today but for a specific marriage issues. I think it was a good thing. I am actually writing a letter to my wife kind of explaining how i feel. This way she can read it, digest it, and then respond. Since this is so close to the heart, we usually get either defensive or heated or both when we talk. Hopefully she will hear what I am saying(want to work it out not divorce).

No exercise today or yesterday. Had other stuff on my mind. Food has been ok. Not great but ok. Got to an OA meeting today....this helps a lot. There is nothing like sitting in a room with people who have similar food issues.

Shooting for a bike ride tomorrow.

Over and out:)

Monday, September 3, 2007

Weekend ramblings

This weekend has been kind of rough. I am dealing some things in my married life that I never thought would come up. Its been tough going for a few months now and its getting time to make some serious decisions. I did not get married to get divorced but I feel like only one of us is willing to sit down and work on our issues and the other one is emotionally (and physically) absent. Its heartbreaking. It sucks.

Went for a kick-ass mountain bike ride yesterday(2hours). It felt great because it was the first time that I've been on serious trails in about 6 years. WOW what a rush.......

Saturday I went to the beach and spoke with my cousin. We had beers and hung out all day. The weather was perfect then we got some chow....really good day but no Tina(wife).....she was out with her friends all day...

I am not ultra religious. But i do believe in a higher power. I do pray. Its funny...I used to pray like I was ordering Chinese food. I want a number 1, 5, 7 , and 15......I still pray but I am just praying for guidance and to make the right decision(either way).

Take care

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Labor Day

Hey Everyone:)

As part of Labor day weekend, I will......Labor....I have to work...can you believe it. Big corporations these days hold nothing sacred. Anyway most of today will be spent working. If I get done early, I am going to the beach.

Maybe get a bike ride in.....tomorrow i think i am heading up to new paltz. Home of the shawangunks...great hiking.....we'll see how it goes....