setbacks....and re-evaluation

Hey folks....just a quick update. I have a quite a huge setback lately. Since I've had this surgery, I've had pain on the inside of my knee. Its never gone away. I kept telling myself....its just post surgery pain and it will go away. Well its not and it's been getting worse. I started running back in march. Slow and staeady but still pain. I did 4 miles a few weeks ago and the pain is much worse and swelling too.

So i go back to the ortho...funny (but quite ridiculous) experience. Had the obligatory 2 hour wait(why the apptmt)...then got to see the PA who i have battled with on many occasion.....she starts reading my chart talking about my MRI in November and already wants to give me anti-inflamatory. I inform her that they operated on me in Dec and maybe she should take a moment to familiarize herself with my case before she prescribes anything or doles out her normal generic and useless advice(her best gem is "everybody heals differently). I am amazed. She tells me she will get the doc...i tell her that would be a good idea. So the doc comes in and basically tells me...i dont know what is wrong with your knee and i need another mri. Amazed again and now really losing confidence in this idiot.

MRI results....fully thickness fissure in my kneecap..thing that gets me is that it never hurt this bad before the surgery...hmmm..I get a message from the doc on my voicemail saying i have a kneecap fissure and i should call if i have any questions to call him....The only question i have is how fast can i get another appt with a new ortho cause i am done with this guy.

Been really fighting depression and sadness over this. Running has been really theraputic for me and i've come to really enjoy it. Its fucking spring and i cannot do anything let alone run

I kinda decided to start my own therapy in the meantime. I'm taking anti-inflammatories(also icing) and gonna take a week off the gym or any other activities...knee feels great when i do nothing...too bad i will go crazy if i continue doing nothing..lol

Anyway i am not sure where this leaves me...maybe i just swim and bike and never run. I dunno but the pain in my knee is pretty bad when not all upped on anti-inflames....any ideas send over a comment...

peace love and soul

b

north carolina...cisco

So here i am at cisco in beautiful spring like north Carolina. It is pretty cool. Long long long work hours but i am learning a lot. I really wish i could be home with Lena but duty calls. The other problem I have is i was set up to do a trade for print photography gig and now it is looking like i may have to stay here....ugghhh. I really hate bailing on Bob McK but there really is nothing i can do. I am trying to get a friend to substitute for me but i am not sure if he can do it. Even if it costs me some money, at least it wont cost me in reputation. I feel so bad....really bad.

Anyway, back to training. My knee is pretty good lately. Its been much less sore and swollen lately so i think it is healing. TJ, the PT, gave me the thumbs up to try a light jog...I have to say i am nervous....really nervous..i know i was told that i cannot hurt it more but man i am afraid to run. Swimming was going well(till I left to working 11 hour days....) When i get home i will continue the training and should be on-track for the April triathlon. I biked 20 miles last week and not pain in my knee.... so little by little...slowly by very slowly.....i am on my way back!