back in saddle!

Well folks. Its been almost a year since my last post. I did some intense rehab last summer and took some shots of sinovisc in my knee. Things are a little better.

Biked 30 miles on sunday and ran today for 3 miles. whooohooooo.

I get in the pool later this week.

Back in the saddle beotches!

B

setbacks....and re-evaluation

Hey folks....just a quick update. I have a quite a huge setback lately. Since I've had this surgery, I've had pain on the inside of my knee. Its never gone away. I kept telling myself....its just post surgery pain and it will go away. Well its not and it's been getting worse. I started running back in march. Slow and staeady but still pain. I did 4 miles a few weeks ago and the pain is much worse and swelling too.

So i go back to the ortho...funny (but quite ridiculous) experience. Had the obligatory 2 hour wait(why the apptmt)...then got to see the PA who i have battled with on many occasion.....she starts reading my chart talking about my MRI in November and already wants to give me anti-inflamatory. I inform her that they operated on me in Dec and maybe she should take a moment to familiarize herself with my case before she prescribes anything or doles out her normal generic and useless advice(her best gem is "everybody heals differently). I am amazed. She tells me she will get the doc...i tell her that would be a good idea. So the doc comes in and basically tells me...i dont know what is wrong with your knee and i need another mri. Amazed again and now really losing confidence in this idiot.

MRI results....fully thickness fissure in my kneecap..thing that gets me is that it never hurt this bad before the surgery...hmmm..I get a message from the doc on my voicemail saying i have a kneecap fissure and i should call if i have any questions to call him....The only question i have is how fast can i get another appt with a new ortho cause i am done with this guy.

Been really fighting depression and sadness over this. Running has been really theraputic for me and i've come to really enjoy it. Its fucking spring and i cannot do anything let alone run

I kinda decided to start my own therapy in the meantime. I'm taking anti-inflammatories(also icing) and gonna take a week off the gym or any other activities...knee feels great when i do nothing...too bad i will go crazy if i continue doing nothing..lol

Anyway i am not sure where this leaves me...maybe i just swim and bike and never run. I dunno but the pain in my knee is pretty bad when not all upped on anti-inflames....any ideas send over a comment...

peace love and soul

b

north carolina...cisco

So here i am at cisco in beautiful spring like north Carolina. It is pretty cool. Long long long work hours but i am learning a lot. I really wish i could be home with Lena but duty calls. The other problem I have is i was set up to do a trade for print photography gig and now it is looking like i may have to stay here....ugghhh. I really hate bailing on Bob McK but there really is nothing i can do. I am trying to get a friend to substitute for me but i am not sure if he can do it. Even if it costs me some money, at least it wont cost me in reputation. I feel so bad....really bad.

Anyway, back to training. My knee is pretty good lately. Its been much less sore and swollen lately so i think it is healing. TJ, the PT, gave me the thumbs up to try a light jog...I have to say i am nervous....really nervous..i know i was told that i cannot hurt it more but man i am afraid to run. Swimming was going well(till I left to working 11 hour days....) When i get home i will continue the training and should be on-track for the April triathlon. I biked 20 miles last week and not pain in my knee.... so little by little...slowly by very slowly.....i am on my way back!

post surgery....xmas...new year ahead

Well the surgery(Monday 12-21) went well. They removed the tear and it was less than a third of the thickness of the meniscus. 1st day and a half were great....not much pain, but then the surgical drugs wore off....4am on wed...holy shit....it sucked for about 12 hours. I dont do well with pain meds so i was stuck. It was funny i pressed on my knee and it was making some interesting gurgling nosies.....gross...Thursday, xmas eve, i felt pretty good. Walked slowly and with a limp 1/2 a block. Pain had subsided to a dull ache.
Xmas eve was great. Lena and I just had a simple dinner. I've realized that i dont need to be in a big family party to feel like the holidays. I think that night was a perfect as it could have been in its love shared and simplicity.
Spent the xmas day at my cousin Joe's. Great time....so much fun. Love them all. They were so good to Lena and I.

One week later, I went to the doc and he removed the stitches. Said i am looking great and was good to go. My physical therapist was also impressed with my progress and range of motion. It aches but overall it feels good. Doing my required exercises and taking it slow(this is difficult..the slow part).

Learned so much this year....mostly about me...who i am...where i want to be....what i want to be....good stuff....

have a great new year.....

Day 0: knee scoping

So here I am, sitting on the couch. My knee is packed in ice and i am watching Friday night live season 1.

The surgery: Really went well. knee cap was better than originally thought. Meniscus flap was removed. Doc says that it was a small piece of cartilage and i should be back on track soon. North Shore surgery center was fantastic. The people were great.

I am very thankful for Lena and my Dad. I am tired and feeling grumpy and snappy at Lena......feeling a little guilty about it.

hey hoooooooooo

Hey peeps!

Things are great(sort of). So letsssseeeeeeeeeheeerrrreee....lemme catch you up.

Last year this time(11/15)....lost my job. Freeeked out then calmed down....

Biggest thing about losing my job...i thought i was gonna get kicked out of my place and kicked to the curb....not true.....after much pants shitting i realized i just needed to get a plan in place. I sold off my 401k from the temporary job and cut a deal with my landlord. Then i figured since nothing would happen work wise till the next year I would go on a road trip. It was awesome. Went to DC for Turkey day, then hiked in shenendoah national park, then headed to knoxville,TN and hiked the great smokey mtns.....then drove to Florida. What a trip.....Something i will never forget. I can honestly say i never felt so free and it was great. So got back and then went to brazil for 2 weeks(Paid before losing job) and got to spend xmas and newyears with Lena...the love of my life. She is amazing.

January and Feb proved to be tough months. I learned alot about myself during this time. I realized that the only person that holds me back is me. And i bring me nomatter where i go......and my crazy head. But that was a gift. I always blamed my circumstances on my job or someone i would vilify. Its simply not true. Its me who needed to change. It was my vision and my perspective that needed to change. I also worked some humbling jobs and found humility..I got to Project manage building a hooters..there i learned that i am capable of far more than i think...nooone there even knew i never really worked in construction(cept home depot)...and then worked as a laborer at a plastics factory(fucking humbling part)..I also learned that its ok to accept and even ask for help from time to time. That was a tough one. But i took it knowing i would pay back or pay it forward.

March was interesting. My buddies at Thomson were trying to get me back in the door. I was interviewing. And my friend mike got married and i went to costa rica. Interesting trip considering it was for a weekend. Mike and Andrea are great. I took photos of the wedding and gave them a beautiful album as a gift. Between this trip to costa rica, i went on a 2nd interview and expected an offer...the offer never came through but i got on a TR. What a gift. its almost as if i was given a 2nd chance to right some of the wrongs i did there...not really wrongs but maybe just mend some fences and to the right thing by people. I am still there today. I am still a consultant and still take it one day at a time.

So triathlon.....things have been crazy but good. I am down very close to the 100lb mark in my weight loss and feel pretty good. This past summer i did a bunch of 5k's and even my first 10k. The 10k was humbling...finished last..literally....lol...but i finished beotches...stopped swimming for a while cause of my shoulder but soon i will jump back in the pool. I am going to take total immersion swimming lessons and work wth my chriopractor to see if we can work through the shoulder issue. So this week came another issue....i found out i have a torm meniscus....knee has been swelling and painful after running and getting worse...finally got an MRI and i will get surgery soon....hopefully before the end of the year. I plan on re-entering the tri world this spring....pending shoulder and knee outcomes....either way i will find some way to work around these issues.

Lena....i met lena a while ago.....at first she was just some chick who asked me english usage questions on the internet......and we always would chat here and there but nothing serious...just answer english questions and small talk.....well i got divorced last spring and she happened to be exiting a relationship. I invited her to come visit and sleep on my couch. She did for a few days and over that week we got close.....it was amazing...and still is.....I went there for xmas and new years....then we decided that maybe she would come for and extended stay...try things out so to speak.....well she is here and is not going home...i am so blessed to have her in my life.....she is amazing, kind, caring...and a crazy brazilian....oh and she cooks great....lol I love her and hope to marry her soon....

I turned 40 this week. I realized something pretty big...We (i) make our world...our reality. Our perceptions and expecttions change how we see this world....mine thankfully have changed for the better......i am grateful for my simple life..

Back again...still trudging the road to happy destiny

Hey All!

Its been about a year since my last blog....so much has happened....so much growth and change....

More to come....